One week in just a glimpse...

Haiz...it has been long long long hours at work for the past 1 week. Reached home on average at 9 plus 10. So, 1 week just passed like that. Supposed to meet Ray on Friday for early supper…but then, he’s stucked with some other appointment and I’m damn bloody tired. There goes another outing. Oh yeah, I went to the temple on Saturday afternoon in the hope for some “peace in mind”...haha...
Watched Munich with Wilson at Bugis. Quite a good show and exceeded my expectation. Eric Bana is definitely the man of the moment…
Bought Vanity Fair March issue; yes, it’s the special Hollywood issue with plenty of good pictures. Yes, the one with Scarlett & Keira naked as their cover. Then, we went Katong for dinner.
Sunday…basically nothing except I went to the gym this morning...and that’s about it…
Yeah…I know...it’s that boring…what can I say…it’s pretty down in mood these few weeks…

Lunch bite...

Jealousy will kill me one day...Pettiness will kill me the second day...

Family Day

Met up with Lena & Family today. It’s like family day. We went from IKEA to EXPO to AIRPORT. Well…thought of buying bed sheet & quilt cover but hold back…to safe money. And then, there’re some exhibitions and flea market at the EXPO. Can’t find anything interesting. We then proceeded to airport for dinner. Walk around and imagine about to board plane to go for holiday…Haiz…Monday again…like what I said, I dun mind being in the office but just the wake-up & journey part that are killing me…

Face it !!!

Went down to Orchard Road today with few missions to do;

• Raoul: to alter shirt
• Tiffany: to find a ring (for myself). However, it’s too ex.
• Singtel: to check on my plan. Wanna downgrade it.
• Kinokuniya: to buy the latest Vanity Fair issue (the one with Scarlett & Kiera naked as the cover). Not out yet.
• HMV: I bought Jack Johnson’s CD; in between dreams.
• Zara: Found 1 nice shirt and belt: Shirt too big and belt no size.

Came back to Siglap for char kway teow and then proceeded to the pub nearby to watch the Liverpool-Man Utd match. Yes, Liverpool won and I got the settle the bill. The spicy top-shell is nice though. Reached home at 11pm.

p/s – to those who can’t accept reality, FUCK off.

Friday's night...

Yesternite, me, PT & Greg went to this place serving American food named Blooie’s; somewhere in Siglap. A very hidden place. They have a very nice environment and deco and the music too…Can’t really talk unless you are seated outside. There’s a pool table there too. Greg was driving…that’s why we’re going to this so-called more exquisite place. Yeap, he resigned and will be joining MS in half a month time. Bloody good package and gets to travel too. So, it’s worth it to move although he’s only at this current place with less than 8 months. After 2 big pints of Hoegaarden, I’m 35% gone; must the long day at work too…And yeah, earlier, Ray “chio” to go Zouk as there’re some Citiclub event there…Public can go in after 10pm. Well..not in the mood for hardcore drinking.

Filming: Most of the time are spend WAITING...

You wun believe what’s going on in the office now...it has been literally transformed into a studio...with all the rails, lightings, cameras, props, etc..and even a mini cafeteria. Yeah, it’s even grander today...with films rolling. I have about 30 crew people standing here in the office now. There’re agents, planners, production worker, etc. The director is supposedly very famous in Korea with lots of TV commercial and even TV series under his belt. The producer is just as handsome as me only more manly. The make-up artist is still cute especially when she wanna borrow my phone charger. Shooting will start soon...which is like after more than 2 hour of preparation with many many people going around. The office floor now is flooded with all the equipments. I heard they shoot till midnight yesterday for all the outdoor scenes and even a crane was used. Yes...that serious. Few models were engaged too for the walk-on role. And some insider news was telling us that the total budget for the commercial was 6mil. Can you believe it, why not take out 1 mil to distribute to us for bonuses...it’s enough to pay the whole company and everyone will be HAPPY. Anyway, we’re like half-day off...’coz just can't concentrate anymore...with so many people walking around. Will be going down for super long tea-break just to escape all these...

Lights on..Camera...Smile...

As expected, worked late just now and left office at 8.45pm. Today, again, there’re bunches of people around in office because of some picture taking. The main stars..? Who else but the chief PM, the two Indian India Fund PM and specially flown in from HongKong, the head of research; an angmoh. And again, this time seems big fuck like that…with 1 group of crew people came in from Korea including the stuck-up photographer and then, there were 1 group of studio crew from local including the make-up artist, “image” artist & long list of assistants a.k.a. maid. Like bloody big fuck…just to take 4 people pictures, there’re about 20 crew members in all…Haiz…reminded me of my celebrity days…and why I quit show business. Anyway, another day of shooting tomorrow…Though hate to admit it…but some of them do have super fashion sense…you know what I mean...especially people in this line…

It's not that simple...

I dun know what kind of person you are but I’m definitely one of those that need a push at the back to keep me moving faster…if you know what I mean…
Anyway, tomorrow will be definitely one of those late nights again in the office…millions of fund just came in…

Happy Valentine's Day...

People, thanks for assuring me that there’re always friends that I can falls back on…’Coz for awhile, I thought I’m left alone. Gosh…a sign leading to depression…ha-ha…Yeah, many many things are in my mind now…Some are not the right time to pen it down yet…
Anyway, had lunch with Fongy at Delifrance, Suntec. Haiz…life full of ups and downs…but it’s ok...it’ll be alright. In fact, we all gonna be fine.
And yeah, I’m already seriously thinking of moving out already. I’m just thinking how to say it out…Sad…sad…suddenly the lyric of Wonderful by Everclear came to my mind;

"hey, ain't life wonderful? wonderful, wonderful, wonderful... isn't it wonderful now?"
I close my eyes when i get too sad
I think thoughts that i know are bad
Close my eyes and i count to ten
Hope it's over when i open them

I want the things that i had before
Like a star wars poster on my bedroom door
I wish i could count to ten
Make everything be wonderful again

Hope my mom and i hope my dad
Will figure out why they get so mad
Hear them scream, i hear them fight
They say bad words that make me wanna cry

Close my eyes when i go to bed
And i dream adventures that make me smile
I feel better when i hear them say
Everything will be wonderful someday

Promises mean everything when you're little
And the world's so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
Tell me everything is wonderful now

Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now

I go to school and i run and play
I tell the kids that it's all okay
I like to laugh so my friends won't know
When the bell rings i just don't wanna go home

Go to my room and i close my eyes
I make believe that i have a new life
I don't believe you when you say
Everything will be wonderful someday

Promises mean everything when you're little
And the world is so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
When you tell me everything is wonderful now

No
No, i don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now
No
No, i don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now

I don't wanna hear you say
That i will understand someday
No, no, no, no
I don't wanna hear you say
You both have grown in a different way
No, no, no, no
I don't wanna meet your friends
And i don't wanna start over again
I just want my life to be the same
Just like it used to be
Some days i hate everything
I hate everything
Everyone and everything
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now...

I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now

What do you think ?

Fine…there’s this guy who is after Miss Right and I believe this time is for real. She dun feel disgusted and in fact happy about it; so I guess it must be him liao…I dun know why but I have this weird feeling about this whole thing…Before you all think further, NO, I dun have any kind of love feeling towards her…if I have it, we would have started long time ago. We just dun have that kind of chemistry. But of course, she’s a good companion for my weekend time. Somehow, play an important role at this stage of my life. I’m someone who dun really easily accepts changes. So, it kind of awkward for me to see this guy hanging around in our living room almost everyday now…And also, I lost one good partner during my weekends. Initially, I thought I’m just being selfish for being unhappy about having some stranger in the living room most of the time. Or am I just being jealous ? Am I can’t accept the fact that she’s will be attached soon ? Then, I think hard...and harder, no…not really. Jealous…maybe a little bit; as in you seems you lost 1 best friend and the time spend with her...that kind of jealous. But the real problem now is, this thing is affecting my lifestyle. I seriously dun like to come back home after a hard day work and some stranger is sitting in the living room. I can’t have my dinner at the living room at all. I can’t do my laundry. I can’t rest outside. Then, come weekends, lots of thing I can’t do if someone else to be there. It just not so convenient. I suddenly lost my privacy which I desperately treasure. She totally forgotten we made a pact before that we’ll try to avoid bringing back friends to respect each other privacy. Anyway, I mentioned to her before the other week, someone got to move if this carries on…but then again, she just not that sensitive to care about what’s going on…And yes, this is one of the issue that has been bothering me this few days…

Gambling Season

Friday: These bloody India trades were really affecting my personal life. We’re supposed to meet for dinner followed by gambling session with the T.U.G. Last min, I stucked, Wilson stucked, Ray stucked and landed up the remaining gals decided to call-off the dinner. However, we still met up later for the gambling session at Edna’s place; with few more friends. Gambled thru the night till 3 plus. All in all, I think I won about $20…only. At least I paid for the Mcdelivery ok…
Saturday: Went to the gym with super damn reluctance. Met up with Wilson for lunch and did some DVDs shopping. Collected my Country Road pants from Isetan. Wendy actually msg’ed to ask whether want to gamble again or not !! Yes, she’s quite hardcore with every betting to be around $10-20 !! After msg’ed here msg’ed there…in the end, nobody really gave a concrete response…so it was clx in the end. Had dinner with Wilson & Sharon and came back to my place for some chilling-out…yeah…in my room. Had some serious heart-to-heart talk…and I’m glad I poured it out…what a relief…Thank them for that. Anyway, fine…not only me lah…but we all exchanged our so-called problem. And Miss Right is having a hen’s night now.

Life Goes On...

India Holiday; left office at around 7pm to meet up some ex-colleague for dinner; Dominique, Diana, Shirley & Christine. Having buffet steamboat at this restaurant near the corner of the Suntec Convention Hall. Grammy Awards today and I missed it. It’s ok...music is just my minor anyway. And yeah, my period is officially over, done, dried-up & fresh all over again.

Another Day...

• My state of mind is more stable now.
• Shared a cab with PT and had a good talk with her at Killiney Kopitiam this morning.
• Had lunch with Johnny at The Soup Restaurant. Me & Bran bought him lunch as he’s going back to Taiwan for good this time; at least it seems pretty real this time round. Haiz, talking to him brought back lots of memories; he used to be my best-best buddy and now has been promoted to Brother status.
• Dinner appointment. Boh-bian…Bran got to cover for me as I need to leave at 7.15pm sharp to reach this Harbour City Chinese Restaurant at Tiong Bahru Plaza. Meeting all (ok…not all but 3 of them) ex-SIM classmates for lo-hei.
• We then went to Coffee Bean for Iced Tea and chatted till 10plus.
• Hopefully tomorrow will be even better…

I'm still me...

I’m going thru a confusion state now; the post-festive depression. Everything doesn’t seem right. It was worse few days back but I know I’m recovering. Ha-ha, yes, the split personality syndrome again.

When will this feeling end ??

Saturday: Unsteady mind.
Woke up pretty early…like 9 plus. The weird feeling is still around. I guess 1 side of me got this very super duper weak mind. Very unstable and filled with negative thoughts. And it always happens when I came back from Ipoh…where I left a very homey and loved place. Am I really that bad in adapting changes of environment ??? Yes, I AM. It will take me few days to adjust back to normal life…What a loser…
Anyway, Wilson came to my place for awhile before heading down to meet LaiPeng & Celine. Wow !! It has been ages since I last saw them. We had coffee at Starbucks. Talked and bitched about office…as usual. Had dinner with them at around 9plus. Ray, our birthday boy called and said he’s bored. And yeah, I felt so sorry…I totally forgotten about his birthday until Wilson mentioned about it earlier…and Ray is not any ordinary fren, he’s one of my closest fren…felt pretty guilty about it and to make it worse, I msg’ed him about other things earlier in the morning without mentioning anything about his birthday…ha-ha...
Anyway, he came down to Tampines to join us when we're half-way thru the dinner. Came back to my place for some gambling again…with 6 cans of beers. Not bad an idea to chill out this way…And I really need someone to be around as often as possible whenever I’m goin thru this mental problem…hahaha…I WILL BE FINE AND I KNOW IT…IT IS JUST ONE OF THOSE PERIOD…

Post-Birthday Celebration

Friday: My belated Birthday dinner. Ok…more like a CNY dinner gathering. Anyway, dun really celebrate birthday long time ago or rather dun want to be reminded of the D Day. Rushed and left office at around 7.45 and all met at one of the zhi char shop at East Coast Road. I remembered I celebrated one of my birthday there long long long time ago. The usual gang, Zuney, Fongy, Kotek, Beanie & wife. We then proceeded to Fongy’s place for some little gambling. Yeah, with Jeremy too…Then, her brother’s friends joined in for awhile…and I’m feeling damn old...they’re like 1 cycle after mine…20 years old…Haiz…wat am I doing when I’m 20 years old ?? Yeah...I just came out to Singapore…Stayed till 2 plus at Fongy place after losing like 20 bucks...

p/s – Thanks for the dinner. I love you ALL…

Fuck-up feeling !!!

Ever have that kind of feeling when you think that the whole world left you ALONE only ??? Insecure ??? Regrets ??? Sad ??? PLEASE, Darren, get over it and move on...

An Emotional Ad

Regretted taking leave today; feeling so restless and moody. Had lunch with Ra’baah; she’s buying me…at Pizza Hut. Frens started calling in to arrange for next week CNY dinners. Pretty pack it seems. Anyway, since I’m in the mood of feeling unfilial…let’s share 1 advertisement with you people that I saw in M’sia…that hit me hard…
The ad started with these group of old ladies having meal in front of a house (I guess it could be those old-folks home). One by one started boasting what their kid is doing. There’re doctors, auditors, lawyers, engineers and dun know wat else la…earning how much la…traveling to dun know where la…achieve dun know what la…know some big shots la…etc…all the common things that parents used to be so proud of and boast in front of relatives. Then, after they finish talking, they ask the last lady who have been all along just listening…what’s her kid doing ? The lady just said that...ooh...he’s doing fine and happy…and he’s coming to fetch her now…
Ha-ha…ok ok...I’m not really good in describing the whole ad and bring you that feel…but the hidden meaning was, no matter how successful or loaded or high-rank you are..the more important thing to older people is actually to spend more time with them and care more for them…All those achievements stories and money given to them doesn’t really matter or rather not what they needed the most at this point of their lives…

p/s – it sounds and looks more sentimental & meaningful in the real ad.

CNY Backdated stuff : Wednesday - 1 Feb

Wednesday: The leaving day.
Left hometown at around 8.30am with my bro. Left with a very guilty and sad feeling…as usual…Nagged and nagged and nagged to my parents and reminded about all the “things” they should do and to take care of themselves. Will call back to check on them. Had my “whole year” conversation with my brother throughout the journey. Good chat. No jam at all…and had lunch at A&W… at one of the overhead bridge right after Malacca. Reached S’pore custom and jam for awhile. Bro sent me back and reached Tampines at around 3plus. And realized that Miss Right was back already (though she said she’s coming back this Sunday morning). Suddenly felt so empty…but heng arh...it’s just too tired and slept early after had a talk with Miss Right at night. (she changed her date and came back early because she’s feeling super bored at home and claimed that she’s super guilty now…yeah…yeah…yeah…)

CNY Backdated stuff : Tuesday - 31 Jan

Tuesday: The Feeling Lost Day.
Haiz…the feeling of lost, bored, sad, insecure, confuse, etc are all coming in as I’m mentally preparing for myself to leave Ipoh. Somehow, I find myself pretty bad in adjusting to changes…any kind of changes….environment, people, things, weather…anything. FUCK…I really hate that feeling. Let’s not talk about it now…
Anyway, went shopping AGAIN. Bought 6 pairs of socks…it’s nice...ok…and cheap. Bought some goodies too from Ipoh. Came back and had “Lai Fun” as dinner. It’s like the “chu mee fun” but thicker and home-made. It’s super nice and serves like yong tow foo style. Then, went to look for Wai for a quick chat; she’s one my very close fren during secondary school...and now only keep in contact thru mails. Long time never see her liao...However, too bad, Yin, another close fren of mine who is staying next door was not around. Chatted for awhile and went for tea with some other frens; just a quick one.
Haiz…maybe most of them got married liao…or because we’re all getting old…or because some of them moved out from the area…or because… everybody just too lazy to come out…Anyway also good lah…went back home early and spend more time with family…And need to do some packing too…

CNY Backdated stuff : Monday - 30 Jan

Monday: The Birthday.
Can’t really remember what I have done on this date. Except for shopping again with my eldest bro and my mother too. Bought lots of home stuff for my parents for their daily usage. Also, bought something as a birthday gift for my niece. My sister came back to stay over with her 2 kids. So, my 2nd bro check-out and she check-in. Went out dinner at restaurant nearby. All 14 of us…kids and adults. I settled the bill since my eldest bro settled the other day. Fine...not too expensive...only about MYR350. Came back for the some photo-taking session and followed by birthday cake. Walau…the whole house was filled with kids…damn bloody noisy. Supposed to go out with frens again but decided to clx it since it’s already 10plus by then. Maybe getting old or wat…just to lazy to go out…maybe I finally come to my senses…spend more time at home..especially with my sister and her kids…I seldom see them…Chit-chatted at home lor and watched TV…thank god there’re cable TV at home…That’s how I “celebrated” my birthday…and of course, there’re many many birthday messages rec’d …thanks.

CNY Backdated stuff : Sunday - 29 Jan

Sunday: Gong Xi Fa Chai day
Woken up early early early in the morning by: voices of my parents, the barking dogs, the chicken, the firecrackers, the insects, etc. Furthermore, I dun have a room for myself and resorted to a little space at the smaller living room. 1 room occupied by my eldest bro & family. 1 room for CNY stuff and parents. 1 room for my 2nd bro & family. Anyway got to wake up early for the traditional home-cooked vegetarian dishes breakfast; its rice with dishes. Relatives stated coming at around 10plus. It’s so crowded that at times, you need to move around...dun talk about finding a seat… These are relatives that I meet almost 1 year once…So, normally, the conversation will be revolved around what we’ve been doing lately.
The afternoon sun in Gopeng (Ipoh) is exceptionally super hot...I dun know why…So, just hide inside the house most of the time and too lazy to look for frens. Anyway, went shopping with my eldest bro. Din buy anything…really can’t find anything. The branded stuff there are the same price as here or even more expensive. Bro ordered a birthday cake from Secret Recipe (my niece share the same birthdate as mine). Had dinner at this shop that is famous for their various types for fried noodles. But it’s damn expensive especially for Ipoh standard. 1 plate of fried bee-hoon (the portion is equivalent to about $5 here) can cost about MYR18 there. We had chicken feet cooked in black sauce with herbal taste (its super nice though I dun really eat it before), 2 types of noodles, bean sprout & steamed octopus. But ok lah..it’s really really THAT good. Came back home…rested a while and went out to meet friends; the usual remaining gang. Not all came back though. Chit-chatted till 12 plus… and this bloody Keong went on to announce it’s my birthday liao…

CNY Backdated stuff : Saturday - 28 Jan

Saturday: The journey begun day.
It’s bloody jam jam jam… My longest journey back home so far… We’re stucked at S’pore custom – Tuas Link (I just dun know why they can’t open up more lanes) for more than 2 hours…And surprisingly, there’s no jam at Johore’s custom at all. Then, jam again at Seremban town for another bloody 2++ hours. Once we passed-by KL, it’s jam or slow traffic all the way back to Gopeng. So, all in all, my trip was from 6.45am and reached home at 5.30pm; a fucking 11 hours…my head was about to burst…Brother reached like 45 min later although they set-off 2 hours later…
Basically do nothing when reach home. It’s damn agitated...resulting from the bloody ride. Went out for reunion dinner (a 1st for us) instead of cooking at home. Came back at around 9. Some frens called but just dun feel like going out anymore…Anyway, my intention is to make this trip a “family trip”a.k.a spend more time with families. Tired…but still slept at 1 plus; after all the praying was done.

I'm still ALIVE !!

I'm BACK !!
Updates coming SOON !!